On December 21, 2010, 4 days before Christmas, my mother went to be with Jesus. Our lives have not been the same since that day. How do you keep going when you lose a parent? Children are not suppose to die before their parents. Death is so permanent and comes way too quickly. Yet, we have to keep going because life does not stop because we are grieving.
When my mom died, I did not know how to handle my feelings. I stopped caring about school and started to let my grades fall. I came close to failing 2 classes. My sister decided to homeschool me in order to give me time and the attention I needed to get through this difficult time. Through prayer, counseling, and support, I started to put one foot in front of the other. I finished the year with a 3.2 GPA. I could have given up and stopped trying. But, God held me close so I would not let go. I am an example of how all things work out for good.
During that time, I stopped singing because I was going through so much. I allowed grief to rob me of the gift that has given me so much joy. Now, I sing again. I love using my gift to encourage others. I remember hearing my mother sing throughout the house. She was always singing regardless if she was happy or sad. I believe I get my love for music from her. If she was still here, I know she would want me to sing.
Now, I have things to look forward to in my life. I am preparing to graduate from high school and go to college. It has been 1 year and 5 months since my mother has died. I still hurt because she is not here physically, but we can feel her presence. I still see her smiling at us from heaven. When I walk across the stage to graduate, she will be walking with me. If she was still here, she would grab me and hug me so tightly that I would barely be able to breathe. My mother was known for her tight hugs. I could also hear her say, “You did a good job”.
Also, Thanks to Acts of Simple Kindness I am getting my driver’s license soon. I was not motivated to get it before. It seems like nothing mattered at all. It feels great to be able to see that life does get better one day at a time. I went through enormous obstacles, and God brought me through them all. If you look at the bright side of life, your whole life becomes filled with light. This light affects not only you and the way you look at the world, but also your whole environment and the people around you. If it is strong enough, it becomes contagious. To have a positive outlook on life means you have to start thinking positively. When you fill your mind with positive thoughts, you start to empower yourself to achieve success.
Today, I know that we will be ok. Thank you momma for the 16 years I got to be with you. Greg, Rochelle, Kengla, Robert, Adrian, Cleo and I can not wait to see you again one day. As your children, we were not ready for you to go and miss you. When we see you, it is going to be better than ever before. Until then, I will be singing down here while you are singing up there!
Love your baby girl,
Justice Shontae Webb
Justice was an ASK grant recipient in April, 2012 and recently got her driver’s permit!